It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
