Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
