One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
