so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
