Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
