I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
