We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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