i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
