A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i dont even know how to be here
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize