my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
