She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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