turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
