Christians are straight up FREAKS
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
