My room smells like vodka and shame
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
