Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
