Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Vodka?
Forever.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
