weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
