Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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