pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize