insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
