You surviving the open bar?
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I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
