Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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