For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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