my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my being single is dangerous.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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