I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize