So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
