I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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