I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
