I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
