I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
