You're so nebulous sometimes
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
