the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
