We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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