Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
