There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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