I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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