this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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