I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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