ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
