so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Why can't burritos get me drunk
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
