Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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