Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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