I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
