the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
