I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
