could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
