I'm going to jail i love you
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
