i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
