Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
