He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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