On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize