Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
