I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
