No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
