therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize