Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i think my cat just said my name.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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