I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
