Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
