I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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