that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize