party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
