happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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