I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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