idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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