i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
