C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
