just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
