Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
