No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
