I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
