You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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